Friday, January 25, 2013

How great shall be your joy!


Brothers and Sisters,

I can't express with human words how great is the joy in my heart of hearts for being an instrument in the hands of the Lord of Saboath.

As I mentioned in a previous post, one of our God Adam's celestial wives' slave servants monitors the activities of apostates on the earthly internet, and she has reported that one of our lost sheep is returning to the fold because of this great blog I have been inspired to create.

A so-called exmormon by the handle of "blueorchid" has seen the light, swallowed his pride, and committed to return to the one and only true church of Jesus Christ on the face of the entire earth.

According to the slave servant, blueorchid has said: "This has to be from the real God...I am anxiously looking for where the nearest ward house is here so that I can get there pronto and repent to the bishop and once again have the hope of hieing to Kolob when I die..."

And so it is. Amen.

The Truth cutteth to the very center..


My Fellow Kolobians,

It is with a heavy heart that I post the following as a gentle rebuke to the unrighteous apostates of the so-called Recovery from Mormonism website: exmormon.org

Last night in a deep sleep the eyes of my understanding were opened and I received a glorious celestial vision of our fellow star traveler, even Hyrum Smith, who showed me the bitter hearts of apostates attempting to thwart the plan of the almighty by asserting that this site is a joke, or satire, on their vile website of secret combinations.

Brother Hyrum was not pleased and indicated that he had been commissioned by his earthly father, even Joseph Smith Sr, to visit me in my dreams. Joseph Sr was commissioned to appoint Hyrum by the angel Gabriel, even Noah, who was sent by Michael the Archangel, even Adam, our god and the only god with which we have to do. Adam was advised of this vitriol by one of his celestial wives, who found out about it from one of her slave servants whose task it is to search the earthly internet in search of untruths.

Brothers and sisters, Kolobianism 101 has been erected; no unhallowed hacker can stop the work from progressing; viruses may rage, mobs may chat, armies may type, calumny may tweet, but the light of Kolob will go forth boldly, nobly, and independent through the medium of Kae-e-vanrash , till it has penetrated every server, visited every website, swept every blog, and sounded in every earbud, till the purposes of Elohim shall be accomplished, and the Great Jehovah shall say it's time to start a new downline.